BUT INSTEAD, I am going to use this space to do a gratitude post, so that I can hopefully change my perspective before I go to work today, and therefore, prevent another anxiety attack and/or bad crappy horrible work day.
Things I am grateful for this morning:
- Vietnamese coffee: totally yummy and one of my new favorite things in the world.
- Helen, my hair/manicure woman and a dear friend. She hooks me up with Vietnamese coffee, keeps my eyebrows tamed, gives me a fabulous manicure, and lots of girl talk and love (lots of love!) everytime I go in to see her. Plus, I get the opportunity to bring in flowers and fruit and change for the Buddhas she has at the salon, which gives me a place to express my spirituality (I am Buddhist, but obviously not a very good one, because I cannot get zen no matter how hard I try).
- That I woke up this morning, and was able to physically get up and out of bed. There are morning where my back pain is so severe that doing just that is painful and disinheartening.
- My babies.... Coco & Duke. Duke may not be mine, but he loves me regardless, and Coco is an annoying attachment who likes to clean out my nose and get her belly rubbed. Boogers picked = belly rubbed in her mind... These are the most grounding aspects of my life right now, and I can't imagine life without them.
- Awesome... and Monet. Ok, throw in the mix Little Grey, Frankie and Fugly. These are the felines that love to rule my life and annoying as they get, they can also be loves.
- Being able to develop a relationship with my biodad, at whatever pace works for me. Same goes for getting to know my sister from another mother that haven't physically met, but have started to create a relationship with (and with my niece!).
- Knowing how to pincurl my own hair, and having the creativity to make it into a style that is all my own.
- Having dear friends who know me and what I like well enough to kidnap me after work to take me to a concert in the park for a 50s band. And to know when we just need to get together for a drink (or two) and lots of kvetching about the evils of our jobs.
- Being an auntie, regardless of how often I get to see my nieces (and soon to be nephew).
- Knowing that my son is both safe and happy, and that he and his father are in the right place for them (even though is in another state).
.... And now I have to have breakfast and get ready for work. I'm hoping this happy list keeps me going through today, so that I'm ready and happy for the concert in the park tonight...